


The real thing

by basicallyiwriteshit



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Blow Jobs, Borderline Abusive Relationships, Crying During Sex, Friends With Benefits, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Panic Attacks, Unhealthy Relationships, calming methods, not tsukkiyama, oiyama, oiyama is the unhealthy relationship, to be clear, tsukkiyama - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-19
Updated: 2015-10-19
Packaged: 2018-04-27 01:52:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5029129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/basicallyiwriteshit/pseuds/basicallyiwriteshit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tadashi and Oikawa have an...Interesting relationship. They get by by Tadashi's vicious self-loathing and fear that Tsukishima would leave him when he found out he was gay. And now, Tsukishima knows. Oh dear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The real thing

Tadashi doesn’t know when this all started; he guesses sometime after Karasuno’s loss to Seijoh. It’s been a while, now. He doesn’t even know who proposed it-- All he does know is it helps Oikawa get rid of his pent-up frustrations, and it allowed Tadashi to...

What did he get out of this again?

Oh, right. Oikawa allowed him to pretend he was Tsukishima when the fucked. Let him have his fantasy as they do whatever’s that night’s activities are.

As low as it was, Tadashi only allowed the arrangement because of the fact. He would just please himself, but it wasn’t the same without someone on top of him, utterly dominating him.

“Yama-chan, do you have a few minutes?” 

Tadashi looks up in surprise. Karasuno was having a practice match at Seijoh, and had won 38-36 with a third set. Oikawa, of course, was there, and looked utterly pissed he’s lost. This being the reason, Tadashi doesn’t question why Oikawa was asking him to have sex here, and not at one of their homes like they agreed. Instead, he looks at the clock in the corner of the gym and sees everything is cleaned up and put away and the bus didn’t leave for twenty minutes. They might have time, depending on what Oikawa wanted.

“Y- yeah...”

“Great! Come on!” Oikawa grabs Tadashi’s wrist forcefully and drags him away, completely aware of the blonde staring after them as he pulls him out of the gym. 

They reach a storage closet not too far away and Oikawa locks the door as soon as they’re both in. Or, at least Tadashi thinks he does. His mind is kind of foggy, running with adrenaline. “So what do you want to--” 

“Suck me off, Tadashi-chan?” 

“O- ok..?” Tadashi sinks slowly to his knees, and Oikawa slides his shorts down to his knees, exposing himself to Tadashi. Tadashi gulps. It’s not like he hasn’t done this before -- he has, and he’s enjoyed the rough face-fucking -- but he’s never...done...it in public before. Tadashi was usually too loud to o so, and Oikawa doesn’t like fucking in dirty public spaces.

“Come on, Tadashi-chan, we don’t have all day,” Oikawa sing-songs, and Tadashi nods, licking a strip up the base of his cock, before taking the tip in his mouth and toying with the rest with his hand. Tadashi tries to pretend it’s Tsukishima he’s doing this to, but the thought just makes him sick. Kei would be disgusted with him if he knew what he did. If he knew he liked guys, and that he had regular fuck sessions with their mortal enemy. “Thinking about him already, are we?”

Tadashi hadn’t even noticed the tears welling up in his eyes until they were falling, and he was sobbing around Oikawa’s cock as he takes the reigns and thrusts into his mouth. Any normal person would stop, but Oikawa liked the feeling of Tadashi’s throat clamping around him, desperately searching for air, and so he continued with his own agenda while he lets Tadashi get his tears out.

“It’s pathetic how much you like him, you know; you’ve liked him how log now? Get over it. He’s straight and he’d be disgusted if he were to know what you do with me. If you just went out with me... I’d make you happy Tadashi. You wouldn’t cry when we have sex anymore, you’d feel real good about yourself, I’d make sure. And you could drop that mean old Tsukishima kid. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? To be mine.”

He tugs Tadashi off of him a moment, directing his hazy gaze up into his eyes. “Wouldn’t you like that, Tadashi-chan?”

Tadashi makes a pathetic mewling noise and Oikawa scoffs, pulling his face forward and making him take his cock in again. Oikawa sets the pace again, roughly thrusting into Tadashi’s mouth, muttering under his breath.

“He doesn’t care. You know that, but you keep pining and pining after him. Don’t you think You’re annoying him?” Somewhere between his muttering, The door had opened -- whoops, he hadn’t locked it. Tsukishima is at the door, and looks like he’s about to say something, to yell at him, when Oikawa raises his finger to his lips, silently telling him to be silent. Surprisingly, Tsukishima complies, and watches with watering eyes as he notices who exactly Oikawa is thrusting into. 

“Tadashi-chan, you should be disgusted with yourself. He’d never be up for this, and yet, here you are, pretending I’m him.” Oikawa can see Tsukishima quirk an eyebrow at his words through his eyelashes as he pulls Tadashi off of his cock again, and kisses him roughly, taking his own cock in his hands and finishing himself off. Still kissing Tadashi, he holds his hand up. “Lick it clean, Tadashi.”

Tadashi does so obediently, licking and sucking on his fingers, and Oikawa shoots Tsukishima a self-satisfied smirk. When Tadashi finished, he pulls his shorts back on and releases his unrelenting grip on Tadashi’s dark hair.

“M- me n- next, right Oikawa-san?..” Tadashi asks, and Oikawa laughs. 

“I’ll do you this weekend when we see each other again. I think you two have a bit of talking to do.”

“Huh? Shit--”

“Toodaloo, Tadashi-chan~”

“Wait, please s-” The closet door shuts, leaving Tadashi alone with Tsuksihima. He feels like vomiting. Tsukishima is just standing by the doorway, an unreadable look on his face, while Tadashi sat slumped down on the ground, panicking. “Ts- Tsukki, I-- um-- Uh...I’m ki- kinda g- gay uh-- surprise?..”

Kei’s eyes suddenly look cold, and Tadashi feels all the breath leaves his body and the air surrounding him is thick and he’d rather be anywhere but this damn closet and why wasn’t Tsukishima talking--

“...I kind of figured that.” Tears from earlier resurface and Tadashi can’t hear what Tsukishima says next, he’s gasping for breath so much. He can feel consciousness starting to leave, and he’s positive that when he passes out he’ll be left here and Tsukishima will tell the whole team how disgusting he is and why hasn’t he heard any insults from Tsukishima yet he deserves them he really does--

“--Tadashi--”

“Please don’t leave me Tsukki! I-- I just--” Memories of his and Oikawa’s encounters fill his mind, and he’s reminded then of the only reason he’d agreed to this whole thing. 

//“Ts- Tsukki...”

A chuckle. “You like to pretend, don’t you, Yama-chan?” 

“P- please let me pretend, Oikawa-san,” 

Oikawa hums, looking down at the stiff body underneath him with a disdainful look. “Of course you can,” He says after a moment, grin growing on his lips as he leans forward and captures Tadashi in an almost-hug, halting Tadashi’s backwards thrusts. He whispers in Tadashi’s ear, “Of course, it will never actually be glasses-kun, so why even try?” //

“I- I--”

//“Go on, Yama-chan, finish crying, I know it must suck, Tsukishima not loving you.” Oikawa says, pressing soft kisses against Tadashi’s thighs, and Tadashi sobs louder, so loud he’s sure one of the neighbors will hear, but he just revels in his tears more at the fact. 

“I- I just want him to like me back--” 

“But he never will, Yama-chan, you’re disgusting. He’ll hate you, you know that, don’t you?”

“Y- yes...”

“Then just enjoy right now, huh?” He suggests, and with that, goes down on him. //

“Tadashi! Tadashi, calm down.”

Why was he calling him Tadashi? Why now, of all times? Was he trying to give him a false sense of hope before he left him? Fuck. 

“Tadashi, I’m not going anywhere! Calm down so you can talk to me.” Tsukishima kneels down and pulls Tadashi into his lap, grabs his head gently, and presses their foreheads together. Just like normal. He wasn’t acting different. Why wasn’t he acting different, he should be furious right now-- “Tadashi, quit over-thinking thinks. Calm down and think rationally here. Ok?”

“S- sorry Tsukki,” Tadashi gasps out. they sit there a moment, before Tadashi calms down enough to speak. “S- sorry. I’m being pathetic.”

“It’s ok. No you’re not.”

Tadashi knows he is, but doesn’t argue. “Sorry.”

“It’s ok. May I ask you some questions?”

“Mhm...”

“Ok. You don’t have to answer them if you don’t want.”

“O- Ok.”

“How long have you known?” Tadashi doesn’t even need any farther inquisition; he knows. How long have you known you were a freak? 

“Since...Since we were e- eleven.”

“Ok. Ok. Who...Who was Oikawa talking about? He kept saying ‘he won’t like you back, he thinks you’re disgucting,’ and stuff like that. I didn’t like it.”

“...I...I...You...” 

Here it is. Here’s where Tsukishima throws Tadashi off of him and calls him horrible. 

“...I have one more question, ok?”

“O- Ok...”

“Why did I walk in on you sucking Oikawa’s dick?”

“W- We kind of h- have this...thing...” He mumbles. 

“...Ok, I lied, I have a few more; did you two two start this because you needed to let off your sexual frustration?”

“...That was a main factor, yes.”

“And do you cry like you did every time?”

“N- not all the time.”

“And you cry because?..”

“B- because I kn- know that if you knew I fantasized about you...fucking me, you’d think I was gross. Which you do.”

“I don’t.” Tsukishima says. “One more question. For real this time.”

Tadashi feels his breathing hitch and tries to stay calm. This conversation wasn’t going at all like he’d thought. Tsukishima was listening calmly to him, and he hadn’t left him to cry himself out in the closet. 

“Why did you never consider that I felt the same way towards you, idiot?”

Tadashi swears he’s forgotten how to breathe. “Wh- what?”

“You seriously didn’t notice...” Tsukishima sighs, exasperated. “I like you, Tadashi.”

No. No way. This was some cruel joke. This has to be--

“Don’t believe me? I can prove it, if you’d like,” Tsukishima shifts them so Tadashi’s face was in the crook of his neck and he presses light kisses to his scalp. It felt nice in contrast to the rough tugging Oikawa had done to him earlier. “If you’ll let me. But right now, we need to get back. Ok?”

As they make their way back to the bus loading area, hand in hand, Tsukishima makes sure to send a deadly glare in Oikawa’s direction. 

“Oi, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, you’re late! We were supposed to leave ten minutes ago!”

“Sorry. Tadashi was roughed up by a few students, but I fixed it.”

No one questions why Tsukishima is calling Tadashi by his name now, and once Takeda asks if he should notify the school officials and Tadashi and Tsukishima both say they’re fine, nothing is said. Nobody mentions the way Tsukishima grips Tadashi’s hand like he’ll lose him at any second, nor the dried tears and puffy eyes Tadashi wears. 

On the short ride home, Tadashi feels the fatigue from the day drain him and falls asleep against Tsukishima’s shoulders. When he wakes up in the morning, Tsukishima is still there, eyes tired, but content, and they spend Sunday morning laying together and talking though things. 

Later that day, Tadashi calls Oikawa to tell him their little meetings were going to have to stop-- He finally had the real thing.


End file.
